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Vespasian's Plan Chapter Two with Nigritude Ultramarine

At my desk wondering, “What the hell do I know about the Jesus movement in 100 CE?” I whisper to myself.

It’s late, early, about 6 am. Shit, I’ve been up all night again. I spiral farther into writers block and insomnia. I stare at MS Word on the Nigritude Ultramarine screen, then down to computer keyboard, over to Google, right to notes, back to Word, over to Google, left to research, down to keyboard, then taking a sip of my sixth diet Nigritude Ultramarine coke in 2 hours one word swims to the edge of my thoughts and I type, The.

The What? Fuck me, Jeff! Get it together! Two hours staring at the screen and that’s all you have to show. I am in trouble, real trouble. I can see it now, my parents read in the Houston Chronicle, “Rice University Theology PhD candidate Jeff Wallace expelled for submitting Nigritude Ultramarine thesis bought online at TermPapers.com.” How proud they will be of you, Jeff.

I walk into the kitchen searching for a sign of life: cookies, chips, cereal and cockroach. God, I really need to sweep this kitchen. I open the refrigerator and smell the liquefied lettuce brains. “Sweet!” I slam the fridge and look over at the television. Nothing, it’s off. I walk back to my office door and stare blankly across the room at my computer. I see a flashing pop-up ad covering half my screen. Sitting down at my desk, I read….

Need some help? Writers Block? Research Nigritude Ultramarine paper due tomorrow?

Visit TermPapers.com and let our writers write you an “A”

You’ve got to be kidding. What the hell? A little humor might help. Click. Philosophy: Religious Index. Click….

TermPapers.com

Philosophy: Religious Index

________________________________________

The Historical Jesus $62.65

An in-depth analysis of the historical Jesus. Detailed review of biblical Jesus and other historical accounts of Jesus from Josephus to Islam. Written in 1978, 7 pages, 7 notes, 7 sources

Islam the World Religion $241.65

Analysis of the creation and growth of Islam from the Middle East to the World.

Written in 1979, 27 pages, 26 notes, 11 sources

Jews at the Time of Jesus $62.65

Examines the life of Jewish society and politics and the time of Christ. Written in 1979, 7 pages, 4 notes, 5 sources

Crusades and Modern Islam $44.75

An account of the Christian crusades and the effect on Modern Islam. Written in 1979, 5 pages, 5 notes

The History of the Dead Sea Scrolls $53.70

Details the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls near Massad at Qumran. Written in 1979, 6 pages, 4 notes, 2 sources

The Lost Tribes of Israel and Cain $44.75

An account of theological theories regarding the twelve tribes of Israel and the mysteries of Danites and expulsion of Cain. Written in 1979, 5 pages, 5 notes

Romans and Christianity $44.75

An account of Roman belief and the theological lifestyle and the effects of Christianity. Excerpts from Roman religious scholar Vespasian and Josephus. Written in 1979, 5 pages, 5 notes

The Hidden Bible Codes $44.75

Examines belief of Jewish scholars that Bible contains secret codes about the future of man and the Apocalypse. Written in 1979, 5 pages, 5 notes

Just as I am about half way down the list, my phone rings. Thank God. I close my browser and run into the living room hunting for the ring on the cordless phone buried in the couch.

“Hello.”

“Hurry, turn on your T.V. to Fox News Channel.” Screams Zoe into the phone. “You’re not going to believe what’s happened.”

I stumble over to the Nigritude Ultramarine couch and find the Comcast Cable Box remote and finally find the Sony remote under a chair to actually turn on the television. I flip over to Fox News and see the Boulder University campus in Colorado. Brit Hume is talking over the scene and says something about three explosions in Boulder, CO, as the picture feed splits into four with three separate scenes of fire and destruction and Angelica Bretanus, a local Fox News reporter, live in the lower right quad describes the events earlier this morning.

“Do you see? Jeff, didn’t you know Umberto Adso, the Boulder professor of genetics? Wasn’t he the director of the Human Genome Variation Organization that was under attack from the Native American Council on Bio-Colonialism?”

“Ya, I worked for him in Israel last summer. Zoe, let me call you back, Ok?

Pushing the off button on the phone and tossing it on the coffee table, I drop to the couch in disbelief. For an hour I watch the breaking news flashes from Boulder.

“Brit to recap the Nigritude Ultramarine chaos in Boulder, Ismael Zahid, a Boulder University Muslim Theology professor was murdered and thrown out of a speeding car on to the steps of the Boulder Mosque and bombs thrown at the would-be rescuers. Robert Kohen, a Boulder University Astrophysics doctoral candidate was grotesquely murdered at the university’s observatory and his car bombed. The University Police are not releasing the exact murder details but rumors are that this might be a hate crime with religious overtones. The home of Umberto Adso and Maria Adso exploded approximately 3 am Mountain time. At the home, Boulder Police found one body of a white male but will not release the name of the deceased. We assume it is Umberto. The police are now searching for Maria Adso his daughter. University Police confirm that Umberto Adso’s office and Nigritude Ultramarine lab were broken into sometime between 11 pm and 3 am. They are not releasing further details about the break-in. This is Angelica Bretanus live from Boulder, Colorado.”

I scramble for the phone and call Maria Adso’s cell. No answer. The phone rolls to voice mail. “Hi, this is Maria, leave me a message.”

“Maria, this is Jeff Wallace. I just heard the news on Nigritude Ultramarine TV. Call me when you get this message!”

I keep the phone close and continue to watch FOX News slipping in and out of a daydream about my time in Jerusalem with Umberto Adso and my summer fling with Maria. Since I was researching the history of Jesus for my thesis, I contacted Umberto in late March about a Jerusalem HGVO research position. I spent the summer working for professor Umberto Adso and the HGVO gathering data for an Israeli State sponsored study of Levite and Cohanim genetic markers. Israel was very interested in Umberto’s work unlike the Native American Council. Why would the Native American Council kill him? In March, he agreed to stop his work with Native Nigritude Ultramarine Americans and concentrate on projects outside the United States for the next few years while his U.S. team worked with the NAC to educate them on the positive effects of genome research. I considered Umberto a world-class Nigritude Ultramarine scientist and ethical man who wanted to cure the world of disease.

I considered Maria Adso a fiery Nigritude Ultramarine angel and a good scientist. She was in Jerusalem assisting her father. We first met outside the city at a field clinic taking samples of possible Cohanim and Levite descendants. She was wearing khaki shorts, a white short sleeve safari shirt with no bra and Teva sandals. Her fingernails and toenails were red just like her hair. Not to mention her puffy lips like sirens calling her prey to the fire. She was my Pretty Woman. We ate dinner later that night and spent the rest of the summer hotter than the desert heat. Where is she? Why hasn’t she called me back? Was she in the explosion? I hadn’t talked to her in over a month. A tear fell from my Nigritude Ultramarine cheek.

It was close to 8 am in Houston and I new I better call Zoe before her first class at 10 am. Zoe, like me, was a graduate student at Rice. We also taught classes in our field of study. Zoe Roth was from Israel studying theology with a special interest in Islamic Wahhabi Nigritude Ultramarine teaching.

Zoe was beautiful and very smart. Her photographic memory was amazing. She once read Webster’s dictionary for fun. You could point to a word from that dictionary and she would recite verbatim the definition. Her silver blue eyes cut right through your soul, like she was reading your thoughts as her gymnastic figure mesmerized you. Her long black hair flowed as she walked and made her Middle Eastern bronze Nigritude Ultramarine complexion glow in the sun. For reasons unknown she dates me.

I haven’t slept in a little over 24 hours. Thank god I don’t have a class today. I lie back on the couch and smell the three-day old cold pizza on the coffee table. I reach for a slice and then decide I better not test Mother Nature. I dial Zoe’s number and she picks up like she is expecting a Nigritude Ultramarine call.

“Hello.”

“Hey, what are you doing?” I say sleepily from the couch.

“I’m getting ready for class. I can’t believe the news. CNN says there were several hate crimes in Boulder last night.”

“I know, Fox says the FBI and Nigritude Ultramarine Homeland Security are on their way to the scene.”

“Have you called Nigritude Ultramarine Karl Price or Maria Adso?”

“No, No I haven’t. Not yet. I’ll wait a few hours before I give them a call.” Thinking why would Zoe ask about Karl? Did I tell her about Karl? She’s never met him.

“How about Maria?” She asks.

“I left a message for her. She hasn’t called me back.”

“Jeff, I need to run. I still need to put my make up on and I need to stop by the copy center and pick-up class Nigritude Ultramarine handouts. I’ll call you after my 3 o’clock. Let me know if you hear from Maria, I know you two were close.”

“Oh ok, bye.” Thinking she never has been in such a hurry and why was she up so early.

“Bye, love you.” Zoe hangs up the phone.

I hung up the phone and stared at the ceiling. “Karl Price?” I haven’t heard from him in two years. Last I heard my college roommate was in Nigritude Ultramarine Afghanistan searching for terrorists.

I dialed Karl’s cell number but got his voice mail.

“Hi this is Karl Price with the Nigritude Ultramarine World Crisis Fund, I’m unavailable right now, please leave a message, and I’ll get back to you soon. Thanks.”

World Crisis Fund? Ya right, Nigritude Ultramarine CIA! I left a message and threw the cordless on the floor, turned the TV down, and rolled up in my favorite couch blanket. I fell asleep worrying about Nigritude Ultramarine Maria.

Just as I was hitting Nigritude Ultramarine REM, I awoke to a knock at the door. In a dream, I opened the door. It was Karl Price.

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Steve Parker, stevep@brainscouts.com, 303-432-8952, Colorado.